Hi friend,
It's been a while since we talked.
Or maybe we never have.
Mind if I formally introduce myself?
If I had met you today, I'd probably give you the same story I give every time I introduce myself.
So my short answer would go something like this:
My name is Cydnie.
I grew up Mormon in Utah suburbs.
I've bounced around a lot in my life.
From one divorced parent's house to the other.
As a teenager, living with a boyfriend every time I was kicked out.
When I was 21, I moved out of state to Atlanta, Georgia. Where I lived for two years.
Chasing nothing but my intuition.
I've kept this pattern going into adulthood —
Living in different environments for short periods of time.
Only staying for as long as I feel called to, and leaving as soon as I get the inkling to go.
A couple times to my Mom's farm in Oregon.
Mexico a couple of times.
Even Thailand with the friends I made in Mexico.
And for this 41st move, I've found myself back home in Utah, 40 minutes from where I grew up. Living in a house with 4 boys.
I came home to Utah to offer my Soul to you in the Mountains that raised me.
If you have the time to take a walk with me,
I'd love to give you my long answer.
I was born an extra sensitive girl, into the arms of imaginary friends.
Everything around me overwhelmed me.
The sound of my little brother breathing too loud.
People sitting too close to me.
The sound of people eating with mouths wide open.
The sound of the air conditioning blasting or the tapping of pencils on the desk as students sat quietly taking a test around me.
Or the way I couldn't sleep because I left my pants out on my freshly cleaned bedroom floor.
Being extra sensitive was a burden to those around me.
I was often scolded for begging my brother to stop breathing.
Understandable.
And in my defense, all I wanted was a moment of peace to return to the daydream I was enjoying with my imaginary friends.
To return to the Other world I've always occupied.
The one on the inside.
In what seemed like a constant state of overwhelm, I often longed for the warm cocoon of my mother's womb.
The closest I ever got to returning to that feeling was whenever she placed her hands upon my head and tucked me into bed.
Every press of her fingertips soothed my achy heart and racing mind as she massaged my hands, back and feet.
Her hands didn't need to fix anything.
They simply let my tears fall and held me while they dried.
They healed me from sickness when I was suffering.
They brought me back into my body and served as a daily reminder that I am loved.
That I am safe.
That I am home.
Moving around a lot, I'm often far from my Mother's loving arms.
All over the world, I've searched for the warm embrace of my Mother's womb.
I searched for home in other places. In other people.
Until the relationship ended.
Until the next move to a new city or country.
To a new friend.
To the next lover.
While even at home, I still felt homesick.
So through my 41 moves, 4 countries, and countless friends, I can tell you what I've found home to be.
Home is in a blanket on the grass.
Home is in this swing under the Grandmother tree at my mother's home.
Home is in a shared meal with a friend.
Home is in a walk through the forest.
Home is in my yoga mat that comes everywhere.
Home is in crying in front of someone that loves me.
Home is in a conversation with someone who really sees me.
Home is in spending time alone. Or with my imaginary friends.
Home is many things.
And in all the places I've lived,
In all the homes I've found,
One thing remains the same.
There's no home like the home of my mother's hands.
I love giving massages everywhere I go.
It's something I just really like to do.
I give massages to strangers and to loved ones.
Because it's the thing that feels the most like home to me.
And the best gift I can give to another.
So what I came here to offer is the home I've found in the healing hands of another.
My mother's hands.
Now my hands.
To remind you that you are safe.
That you are loved.
That home is within you, wherever you go.
So what I bring to you is Love.
What I offer is my hands.
To soothe the ache in every cell of your body.
The ones you cannot touch. And the ones you cannot see.
I offer my presence to bridge the gap between who you've been and the person you've always known yourself to become.
Using my hands to help anchor you into your body, into your new Now.
A new timeline.
One where you know loving touch. Because you've experienced it.
Whether you're moving through a career change, a relationship ending, a big move, a health diagnosis, or simply wanting to move stagnant energy or expand your capacity for the weight you carry —
I offer you my hand to hold as we walk home together.
My offering to you is a mosaic of everything that I love about life.
All the ways I bring myself home at the end of every day.
It's a painting of every friendship I've had.
And every ceremony I've sat in. Formal and informal.
The experiences that have fundamentally changed me.
And brought me one step closer to home.
Sitting on a blanket in a park.
Or nestled into the forest.
Return to Self
An ode to all the times I've sat on a blanket with a friend and my heart healed a little more.
If you're new here — I'm passionate about sitting on blankets.
We share loving conversation and an introduction to safe touch. A more casual setting in a public park. I have my favorites, or we can go to yours! Perfect for someone who needs a good vent sesh with some tea or cacao. Sometimes you just need to vent. Or maybe a really long hug. I can offer my intuitive guidance or just a listening ear.
Sacred Reset
A thank you to every walk I've taken alone in the forest and every tree I've conversed with.
Make it a whole day thing. An entire day for your leisure! (Requirement)
Let's go a little deeper.
Early morning through sunrise to begin your first day in a new light.
We share morning tea together over a small stovetop.
A deep full body massage sprinkled with light airy touch and tickles. Using different tools to create different sensations in the body.
Awakening energy and moving stored tension.
We'll meet at a designated spot, where we know we're safe.
We'll spend the first half of the day together and the other half is yours to design. No rush to get anywhere or do anything. Have the whole day to just be.
A walk in the forest to integrate physical changes.
Perhaps a lengthy journal sesh next to the quiet river.
You get to choose how to spend your blessed day.
Maybe a walk out in the mountains. A relaxing bath at home. A new or a favorite hike. Whatever feels like it fuels your soul.
My messages are open to those that have questions! <3
Hope to see you soon.
